Carnal Butterflies

Nocturne

2011-02-28T09:00:00.000-08:00

Paper Loft Aged Black [PL_ABLCK] - $1.00 : Scrappybitz, Your Home for...
FFFFOUND!
Grunge Textures - Free Stock Photos, Images, Backgrounds and Digital...
National Galleries of Scotland - Collection
FotoKritik - Polaroid Hayatlar.... fotoğrafı
Iowa Voice » » Green Thumb Sunday - Sunset Over Iowa Grass
stock.xchng - Manuscript (stock photo by kevinzim)
PSD Detail | Cracks | Official PSDs
Grunge Textures - Dried Mud #472 - Free Stock Photo
We heart it / Visual bookmark for everyone
stock.xchng - .| Flower |. (photo by clix)
The Beautiful Ordinary
GG
There Once was a Girl Who Lived in a Lighthouse

Revamped and Cooking

2011-01-06T05:52:00.000-08:00

Hello.

I went a bit crazy with the new design templates.
I've been meaning to come back to this. Well, techincally, I nearly switched over to WordPress. But it's a bitch to me when doing uni work anyway, so why let go of lovingly ol' reliable blogspot?

2011, then. What've you got for me? 2 exams, 2 mock exams, 1 essay, subbing feature articles, applying for jobs that are too far away with no pay, and fridge that may have destroyed my food. All to look forward to in the next week.

2011, I don't think I like you.
But then again, the job thing is quite exciting, and I only had butter and syrup in the fridge.

I won't promise, as I always do, to kick-start this blog back up, because that would sound like a resolution. Now, I was never one for resolutions. For the last 22 years, it's always been the same: stop biting your fingernails. Well bollocks to that one. I'll bite my nails whether I want to or not. That's right, I have no say in the matter - no control over the magnetic attraction between my teeth and fingers.
I also refuse to eat healthier. I may have stuffed myself silly this Christmas, but frankly, I don't eat much on my own and I will NOT give up meat or sugar. So there.
I refuse to go to a gym or do yoga or pilates or any form of sweaty exercise. Walking is perfectly adequate.

So what else can you offer, 2011? Sixth series of Doctor Who with a Neil Gaiman episode, return of Sherlock, F1 in 63 days, I can finally see Never Let Me Go, and very possibly also somehow manage to get a decent MA in Journalism.

We'll see.

And as for what this blog will be?

I don't know. Still cooking.

Solar Sympathy perform to local crowd at the Latest Music Bar

2010-11-29T06:52:00.000-08:00

Solar Sympathy returned to the site of their first live performance at the Latest Music Bar in Kemp Town, Brighton last Thursday.

Comprised of siblings Gemma, 28, and Matt Roberts, 26, the Brighton-based acoustic outfit were opening for another local band, Jo-Jo and the Go Cats.

The brother and sister duo played their first gig in the Latest Music Bar earlier this year, and described it as ‘the most uplifting…amazing experience ever.’

Solar Sympathy describe their music as ‘indie soul that mixes a raw acoustic sound with soulful vocals.’ Gemma, who works for a charity organisation, said: ‘I love the acoustic sound that we generate now. I think it’s a kind of a real raw sound; it’s just me and Matt, nothing else.’

The pair took to stage amidst great support and excitement from the audience, which consisted of friends, family and local Brighton residents. The atmospheric and stylish venue of the Latest Music Bar, which boasts Amy Winehouse, Herbie Flowers and The Kooks as past performers, proved to be an ideal backdrop to their haunting vocals.

The performance included a mixture of cover songs, such as Blower’s Daughter by Damien Rice, along with original songs written by both. With Gemma usually on vocals and Matt on guitar, the night also saw Matt, who is a teacher, singing one of his own songs, Cards.

The pair cited artists ranging from Joni Mitchell, Alanis Morissette and Eva Cassidy to Incubus, The Beatles and Red Hot Chilli Peppers as their influences. They also expressed a wish to perform in larger venues in London in the future, as well as expanding as a band.

The band have also recently produced their first self-recorded album, titled Albert’s Last Stand, which can be available by contacting them at solarsympathy@hotmail.co.uk

Solar Sympathy by Kashfia

Catch up

2010-07-18T14:46:00.000-07:00

There's a tried and tested joke that you've probably encountered already: A tomato family is travelling (or running, or walking) and the baby tomato is lagging behind. The daddy tomato looks back and barks at his son: "catch-up."
Say it out loud and it'll guarantee a little snort of derisive amusement.
Only reason I mention this is because I just labelled this post 'catch up' and that phrase always reminds me of that joke. And Uma Thurman mentions it in Pulp Fiction.

Anyways, I know I've been rubbish with this blog. And I could list a bunch of excuses, like how I've been too busy writing essays blah blah blah. So instead of me moaning, here's what actually happened:

1. I finished university!! Yay! I got a 2.1 in English Literature, and I graduate next Friday :)
2. I got accepted into Brunel University! So come September, I'll be starting an MA in Journalism (NCTJ accredited). I am shit scared.
3. I worked backstage at the Brighton Frocks Couture Show. More on that later (I promise I'll try!)
4. It's been 3 weeks since I last had any sushi.
5. I swear I've done more stuff worth mentioning...
6. ...does watching Lost, Alias, London gangster films, organizing my bookshelf and buying a corset count?
7. I bought a gorgeous black corset!
8. I'm off to see Wicked tomorrow.
9. I'll stop here.

I'm currently re-watching all of Alias, for two reasons: 1. I never really knew what the whole deal was with Prophet Five, and 2. Julian Sark.

Also, my friend Shuvo and I just planned an entire private jet idea. Corsets, assassins, and shisha. Yeah. Our airbus will bring Branson to his knobbly knees. (I don't know if his knees are knobbly. They're probably not, but knobbly and knees just go together).

I'm defying gravity tomorrow, so I should probably have a good night's sleep.

Happy summer. xx

mothgirl ignites in the candledust by Kish Kash on Polyvore.com

May Day

2010-05-02T19:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's May 3rd, but it's Bank Holiday! Yay: no class. Nay: no food places open. It also means that I've got exactly 2 weeks to get my two 4000 word essays done...and my 6000 word dissertation. Panic? Yes.

mothgirl puzzles by Kish Kash on Polyvore.com

Items in this set:
fairytalemoment: Icon Post + Wallpaper + Banners
Music background image by thinkin_green22 on Photobucket
Texture Gallery: Paper | Smashing Magazine
Backgrounds image by chookpea123 on Photobucket
We heart it / Visual bookmark for everyone

She reminds me of Faith.
xx

don't forget to clap...

2010-03-21T18:16:00.001-07:00

don't forget to clap... by Kish Kash on Polyvore.com

Items in this set:
Brush Bundle Vol 1 Photoshop Brushes by Designfruit, $27
Stitchy Circles Vectors by Designfruit, $27
Brush Bundle Vol 1 Photoshop Brushes by Designfruit, $27
Stitchy Circles Vectors by Designfruit, $27
Black Square picture by laurenrocks422 - Photobucket

Pretty dresses

2010-02-13T13:52:00.000-08:00

I want this dress:

Ditsy corset lace dress, Topshop, 40 quid.

Ditsy Corset Lace Dress - View All - Dresses - Topshop

Going into town tomorrow to try it on!

Oooooh, just been checking their site and they also have this dark pink lace up sundress for 35 quid:

Lace Up Sundress - View All - Dresses - Topshop

Stay tuned for the verdict!

On an incredibly exciting note, Anthropologie (my soul's clothes live there) have a shop on Regent Street in London! Have to stop by when I'm going to uni open days.

I'd say more, except I'm full from eating a rather wonderful dinner (pasta with spinach, oyster mushrooms and spring onions cooked in butter and salt) and will either watch a few more episodes of How I Met Your Mother, or haul my ass into the cold and watch some Inglorius Basters. We all know which one I'm gonna pick ;)

Toodles xx

The Ballad of Czolgosz - Assassins

2010-02-12T16:14:00.000-08:00

Incredibly, insanely, insufferably obsessed with this song at the moment: 'The Ballad of Czolgosz', from Stephen Sondheim's musical 'Assassins', as sung by the one and only Neil Patrick Harris. Fell in love with it the second I heard it, and just can't stop listening to it!! last.fm says I've exceeded my limit and won't let me play it anymore....today. Hah. Have no fear, I shall return!

And it's not just the song, it's NPH's voice as well! He sounds amazing. It's just such a catchy, upbeat tempo with simple and rhythmic storytelling lyrics, and so much fun to sing.

Meanwhile, a lovely person has uploaded the NPH version up on youtube:

Stephen Sondheim in a freakin' genius. Have a listen - I guarantee it'll get stuck in your head :)
Damn, I wish I was a Broadway musical star.

"Some men have everything
And some have none,
That's by design..."

Today's ensemble

2010-02-11T06:22:00.000-08:00

The most deceptive weather of all time: sunny with clear skies...but bitterly cold with an icy breeze every few seconds. It's so deceiving and confusing. It's cold, so you want to bundle up, but it's sunny, so you feel stupid wearing too many layers as your brains tells you that the sun is out and you should be wearing a dress!
Grr.

Solution? Compromise. The two-fold weather means that you can experiment with the sweater dress craze. So while you're craving summer and keep eyeing those flimsy sun dresses, replace that need to wear a dress with warm, thick, woolly, knitted dresses - they'll keep you warm and the knitted fabric will give you a casual but sophisticated 60s look for the modern day.
Grey's been my choice of colour lately, it's not as severe or standard as black, and adds a subtle elegance to a casual look.
Swap the stiff and restricting skinny jeans for soft, black wool tights that'll keep your legs warm and feeling slinky as well. With a knit dress that's monochrome and quite plain, I'd jazz it up with a pair of sexy, lace-up, long black boots.

As for a coat, either a black or grey coat would work, but I'm sticking with my grey mac - it's simple, classy, with a touch of Bogart, but with a feminine finishing.

Sidenote: I live in Brighton. I shop in Brighton. More specifically, I shop in the North Laines, which is a Bohemian haven for independent stores and funky little shops that sell one of a kind outfits. Therefore, I have to resort to finding online versions of my clothes (which drives me up the wall; also, my camera is shit, so taking pics of clothes is currently a no-no). But luckily, the items I've put up today are pretty awesome faithful representations of the clothes I am actually wearing right now! :)

So there you go: my outfit for today. xx

Clothes dilemma

2010-02-10T18:37:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know I promised a whole series of clothes revamp extravaganza, but I've been so stressed out with uni stuff that I haven't been able to just chill out and do some sewing and photoshopping. After next week, I'll be done with MA uni apps, and then...well, then I have 2 essays to hand in, but we all know I'll procrastinate by putting up those dress ideas I had oh so many weeks ago.

To make up for my laziness, I will instead coax you into forgiving me by posting stuff from my early days on Polyvore. Before I realised I could create crazy artsy stuff, I used Polyvore for its primary function: putting together outfits. My sister has managed to recreate her entire wardrobe on Polyvore sets, creating a 'Cher from Clueless' style online wardrobe.

I, on the other hand, found that tedious (half my clothes are from the North Laines. they don't have online sites to clip pics from), and opted to create outfits that I'd love to have.

Exhibit A:
For the last few days, the weather was being quite lovely and I was able to go about campus wearing this ensemble:

University by Kish Kash featuring Converse shoes

Items in this set:
JAMES PERSE WOMEN Agave Sulphur SUPIMA LONG TANK T-Shirts, $45
Forever21.com - Outerwear - 2053423296, $45
Charlotte Russe - Denim: See All: Yuki Skinny Jeans, $68
Converse All Star Chuck Taylor shoes, Converse All Star Chucks,..., $45
Donna Karan Double Zip Messenger bag, $295

Skinny jeans with comfy shoes, long and soft cotton tank top that's jazzed up with a few accessories, a hat and a compulsory scarf to keep the chill out and my trusty Mac. A perfect, casual student look, right?
(Note: I own variations of all those items. Except the belt. I don't do belts).

But then came yesterday, and it started SNOWING. Again. Therefore Exhibit B came into place:

goth mime in paris by Kish Kash featuring Arden B tops

Items in this set:
Off Shoulder Stripe Button Top, $25
AllSaints | Womens Leathers Feathers Jacket, 205 GBP
Skirt with pleated tiers, 2,125 GBP
Fringed high boot, 660 GBP
Black Brogue Ankle Boot by Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti from..., $595

Cold weather means I can get more creative: laced-up high boots to keep the ankles warm, skirt with pleated tiers (volume=warmth)and a black n white striped long sleeved top to add a touch of Tim Burton-ness to a freezing, drab, wintery afternoon.
(Note: More layers were involved. And I don't own a leather jacket).

I can't decide whether I want it to get summer-hot right now, or let it snow just a few more inches so I can play in the snow. To honest, I wouldn't mind if the snow settled. Just for a while. A short while.

For now, I'm gonna slip under the comfiest thing in the world: my duvet.
xx

Mothgirls & Candledust

2010-02-09T02:40:00.000-08:00

I did once say that I was going to explain Mothgirls. The time is now. Although, to warn you: I don't really have a concrete definition. I can tell you how it came about. I was thinking about stuff like Dust (from Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials) and Stardust (Neil Gaiman) and how I wanted to create another element close to that to go into my own stories.
So stardust, cosmic dust, angel dust, (there's Dustfinger from Inkheart), magic dust, shiny sparkly shimmery things...but they were all too obvious, too...shiny. I wanted something subtle.

I've always loved the imagery of a moth to a flame. That juxtaposition of attraction and danger; something so delicate and beautiful like a moth dancing around a fiery fatal flame, rebellious and frantic and hypnotic.

And there it was: candledust. The world itself rolls off your tongue softly. The subtle hard 'c', the tumbling 'ndle', ending with the barely substantial 'st'. The word itself conjuring up images that are as fleeting and wispy as, well, as candledust.

And then there were mothgirls - exotic yet subtle, mysterious and strange, they weren't pretty flashy butterfly girls...they were darker, more sublime, made you suppress a shiver creeping down your spine.

Mothgirls and candledust go hand in hand. They're born of it, they live with it, play with it, make love with it, and eventually, die into it.

mothgirl dreams in the candledust by Kish Kash on Polyvore.com

Items in this set:
THE AMERICAN DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE THOMAS JEFFERSON
Free Scrapbooking Software Templates Embellishments Backgrounds, $12
Lava Fabric - Coco
Music background image by barbara_blond_9 on Photobucket
Backgrounds image by nmizz on Photobucket

For Aseema

2010-02-08T17:39:00.001-08:00

So when I was in 8th grade, I used to take the bus to school. I had my own clique of friends and we used to sit together, usually at the front (the rowdy boys sat at the back). There was this one girl, who would always usually sit at the front as well, next to the window. She was small like me, quite quiet like me as well, but she seemed more aloof than just shy. She always looked impeccable and tidy, with her hair tied into a pony tail and she had really clear skin that looked super smooth (her hands are smoother. Seriously, they're like silk).

We never talked (she thought I was a snob, I thought she was a quiet loner), until one fateful day. Now, I only vaguely remember this. I always thought that we first bonded over Roswell, and how we seemed to be the only two people who liked Michael Guerin over Max Evans. But she claims that we first talked about Harry Potter...something about Ron and Hermione. I can't remember, I'll have to ask her again.

Then we found out that we both loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And that, ladies and gents, is when we both abandoned our own set of friends and ran off together into the sunset.

Okay, well, it wasn't sunset. And we didn't run, cuz, please, we had a bus. But we did forsake our other friends to be with each other...all the time, unfailingly, devotedly, emotionally, spiritually, physica- okay this is getting out of hand. What I wanted to say was, simply, that I found my best friend that day.

We'd spend the entire day sitting next to each other in class, on the bus, and then when both went home we picked up the phone and called each other right again. There never seemed to be an end to all the things that we could talk about. I remember one time, during summer vacation (we became complete hermits then), I called her up in the morning while watching TV, and turns out we were watching the exact same movie: Reality Bites. (Oh yeah, Troy Dyer). I think we had the phone to our ears for nearly an hour, both watching the film silently, til we realised our phone bill was probably going to hit the roof.

And then there was the time when I fell asleep in her lap during PE. And she fell asleep through one English class and one Physics class, where luckily, both teachers noticed but didn't say anything :)

One of my best memories is of her French braiding my hair on the bus every morning. I used to have really really long hair, and she'd love braiding it. Although it would get quite tetchy cuz she'd hit my head and pull my hair whenever I moved (we were on a bus, of course I wouldn't be able to stay still!!), but damn, those French braids were awesome.

We were with each other for only 3 years, which sounds insane cuz it feels like I've known her for years and years. Like we grew up together and knew all the little nuances and mannerisms of each other. I could hear her smile over the phone.

The last time I saw her was on June 9th, 2005. She was leaving for Canada the next day. I was leaving for England exactly the next week, on the 17th. We were both happy, in a way, because we both wanted to leave Dhaka and move on with our lives, but we were also glad that neither of us were left alone in Dhaka. Even if that meant living on two different continents. Across the damn Atlantic.

So that was 5 years ago. Man, that's just crazy. I nearly saw her again earlier on this year. I was visiting my sister in Boston, and she was with relatives in New York. We were in the same country, dammit! At one point, we were even in the same state! I was even on the way to see her! But a fucking snowstorm raged and I couldn't get pass the Massachusetts turnpike.

I love hearing her voice over the phone. That slow 'Heyy..' followed by her smile, trying to suppress a squeal. (Yeah, you know you do :P) You know, we don't talk as often as we used to, but it doesn't matter, cuz every time we do talk, it's like coming home. There's a few hundred miles between me and her right now (3255 miles to be exact), but it's like we never left each other's side.

I've written about her before for an English assignment, and man it's so easy to witter on and on about her. I wish uni essays were this easy. She just told me yesterday that she reads this blog daily. Okay, yes I don't post stuff daily, but I will now. Even if there's one reader. Even if it's just her.

So this is for you.
Happy reading.

I love you.
Twaa :) xx

The Boondock Saints

2010-01-24T14:10:00.000-08:00

And shepherds we shall be
For thee, my Lord, for thee
Power hath descended forth from thy hand
That our feet may swiftly carry out thy command
So we shall flow a river forth to thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In nomine patris, et filii, et spiritus sancti.

The Boondock Saints by Kish Kash on Polyvore.com

Items in this set:
Grunge Textures - Dried Mud #472 - Free Stock Photo
The Blood Of Cu Chulainn

New dress project amidst crazy schedule

2010-01-24T13:37:00.000-08:00

Christmas vacation and first 2 weeks of term were supposed to be when I got shitloads of things done. For example, I wanted to start jazzing up my wardrobe and making this more blog-like. I was supposed to get some reading done (well, I did, but it wasn't what I was supposed to be reading...). And most importantly, I was supposed to get my MA uni applications done.

I think I enjoying having gremlins attack my brain all at once in perfect unharmonious synchronity (apparenly this isn't a word. I don't care. I like it as a word).

So in this week, I shall attempt to finish 10 uni apps, write 10 different personal statements, hold meetings will all my residents under my care on campus, go to magazine meetings, write an interview, take photos, read a few books, meet with 3 tutors...and also try to have a life once in a while.

So tonight, I decided to de-stress by starting my clothes revamp project. Insane, non?

Well, what the heck, I went and did my best...

So what will follow in the days to come, are pics of all the old, big and long clothes that I've decided to jazz up in different ways (esp to make them fit me). I raided a fabric store in Colchester (I believe it was The Remnant Shop on Head Street) and came away with a bunch of satin and lace ribbons, 25p each! My mom had to stop me from grabbing the entire basket.

(Word says it's synchronicity. which blogger still thinks is wrong. hmpf.)

I'll start with just ideas for each, because my sewing machine has taken permanent residence in Colchester, while I hop off back to uni in Brighton, so I'll experiment with the dresses for now.

Before I go on any further, I'd just like to say something about my laptops, because they will feature greatly in my ramblings.

Firstly, there's Lappy. Lappy is old. Very old. And heavy.

She's a blue and grey Dell XP and needs to sit on a big book as there's a fan underneath that makes her crash if it's covered.

She's over 6 years old, used to be my sister's uni laptop but it was dying on her. Let me declare, ladies and gentlemen, that the very same Lappy (my naming) has survived under my care for the last 5 years. She loves me. She only functions for me. She only has 384MB of memory. She is a pain in the arse when I try to watch DVDs (I no longer can), or watch videos on youtube (it's a slow process).

But you know what? I love her. I love my Lappy the way that most people love their cats or dogs or goldfishies or kids. Lappy is my beloved pet.

Then there's the new laptop. New laptop is about 2 years old, maybe. New laptop does not have bottom fan. New laptop has more memory, and I can watch videos comfortably. New lappy is shiny silver. He's also a Vista (I hate Vistas, but oh well, they're shiny).

New laptop has 2 names. First name, named while I was at my sister's in Boston for Christmas, is Bieber. After Justin Bieber, who was discovered on youtube. Why? My sister could not stop mentioning that boy. Therefore, in front of my sister, new laptop's name in Bieber.

What do I call him while I'm at home?

Rocco.

Named after David Della Rocco, from the Boondock Saints.

Wyatt-fucking-earp!

:D

So while I've been enjoying listening to the Dresden Dolls radio on last.fm, watching Boondock Saints for the umpteenth time and uploading pics with ease on Rocco this weekend...tomorrow I head back to my flat and reunite with dear old Lappy. At least her internet connection is fast! So fear not, dear readers (whoever you are and if indeed there are), I shall still be uploading lots of weird and wonderful things on a regular basis for days to come!

I leave you with yet another Polyvore set, called 'scrapbook'.

Love,
Kash xx

scrapbook by Kish Kash on Polyvore.com

Items in this set:
sentimentaljourney, $30
Free Scrapbooking Software Templates Embellishments Backgrounds, $12
Music background image by barbara_blond_9 on Photobucket
PSD Rockstar » grunge background
IS Photography

The Boondock Saints

2010-01-07T14:43:00.001-08:00

View all Brighton events on Eventful

A Mothgirl for Christmas

2009-12-23T13:06:00.000-08:00

A very merry and snowy Christmas from Boston! This still is my favourite Polyvore set to date...it's the simplest one, not as insanely stacked with items as my other ones...I love the colours and the fact that you can't see the mothgirl's face - she becomes more of a symbol than an actual person and that mystery surrounding her makes her all the more interesting. She can be anyone in the story, but she's undeniably got her own strong identity. Absolutely love her.

mothgirl sleeps in the candledust by Kish Kash on Polyvore.com

Items in this set:
Lava Fabric - Coco
Paper image by despainlove on Photobucket
dance image, picture by piss_off_5699 - Photobucket
We heart it / Visual bookmark for everyone
Letter from Anne Rooney to Henry McElroy of Richmond, Upper Canada,...

Polyvore

2009-12-10T03:04:00.001-08:00

Just found out I can post my Polyvore creations onto here! Hmm...maybe I'll start a fashion section here as well...oh the possiblities are endless!
This Polyvore set was my first arty set, starting off a series of sets that illustrated my Mothgirls (more on that later...)

mothgirl dances in the candledust by Kish Kash on Polyvore.com

Items in this set:
MemoryVilla> Home > Scrapbook Paper > All Patterned Paper > 7gypsies..., $0.60
Violet CD Poster
Image - TinyPic - Condividi l'esperienza!™

We heart it / Visual bookmark for everyone

Yay! new blog!

2009-12-09T12:15:00.000-08:00

So, finally finished tweaking all the fun bits of the blog! It's like moving into a new room: after all the bare necessities, I have to put all my books and junk on the desk and cover the wall with photos, posters and scraps of artwork.
Now it feels home.
Now it feels like a creative space.
Now I have to figure out what to write.
Hmm...the really cool things I have in mind require me to have my scanner at handy. Which, alas, I have not. Sooo...next best thing is to post some of my written stuff, along with pics!
And must start a weekly F1 section, because seriously, I'm in love with it. Even though I've got mixed feelings about next season with all the driver and team changes (sniff), I know that I'll devour every minute of it. I'm already missing it and I've still got about 3 months til it starts again! See? A para on F1 alone already.
Right now, I'm off to my kitchen...3 days of autumn term left...I say we party. :)
xx

First post

2009-12-09T10:29:00.000-08:00

I probably could've come up with a better title than the standard youtube 'first post!!' comment, except I've got stage fright. Or, blogosphere fright, rather. What I really wanna do is write some random sentences so that I can preview what my blog will look like, and then make it all snazzy and jazzy and just generally pretty! :D I'll sort out what I want this blog to really be about later. I want to do a whole mixture of things, from reviews of films, art, music and shows to possibly reviewing the entire 2010 Formula 1 season (what? it's my new passion!) and to just being a platform for random musings and ideas for writing/art stuff.
Now. Let's make this interesting.
xx